What I Wish I Knew at 18: A Letter From Dad

Hey guys,

I'm writing this out because there's some stuff I've been thinking about — things I wish someone had told me straight when I graduated from college, things I learned by making mistakes, things I'm hoping you'll consider before you're standing where I was at 22.

Nobody tells you the truth at that age. Everyone gives you advice, but it's usually wrapped up in what they think you should do, not what actually matters. So I'm just going to tell you what I know now.

The Degree Doesn't Feel Like What You Think It Will

You work your tail off in college. Four years of papers, exams, showing up, proving you're smart enough and disciplined enough to finish. And you get this piece of paper that's supposed to mean something.

It does mean something. It's proof you can commit to something and see it through. It shows you have some baseline knowledge. But here's what surprised me: nobody really cares about your GPA. Nobody asks what you got in organic chemistry. And the specific stuff you learned? Most of it either changed or became irrelevant within a few years.

What actually mattered was different. It was people I met. It was how I learned to think about problems. It was understanding that I could teach myself things I didn't know. It was learning that failure wasn't permanent.

Those things weren't on a syllabus.

You're Going to Feel Lost. That's Normal. Don't Fight It.

After graduation, I felt like I should immediately know what I was doing. Everyone else seemed like they had a plan. Turns out they didn't. They were just better at pretending.

That first job felt important, like it would define my whole life. It didn't. Neither did the second one, or the third one. I learned things at each one, made mistakes, figured out what I actually wanted to do, and moved on. That's not failure. That's how it actually works. But I spent a lot of energy in my 20s thinking I was behind or doing something wrong.

You're going to feel lost. Lucas, when you're 22 and most of your friends have something figured out, you'll feel it. Malakai, even if you launch something early, you'll still feel lost about other things. That feeling means you're paying attention. It doesn't mean you're failing.

Money Is Real. Respect It. Don't Fear It.

I didn't grow up talking openly about money, and it cost me. I made decisions based on shame or confusion instead of actual numbers. I took on debt without really understanding what it meant. I spent money on things that didn't matter because I didn't know how to think about it clearly.

Money isn't something to be embarrassed about or to treat like magic. It's a tool. You earn it. You spend it. You choose where it goes. That choice matters way more than the amount.

You're going to have options about how to pay for what's next. College full price, partial scholarship, cheap school, work and learn, combination. There's no morally correct answer. The right answer is the one that lets you move forward without being trapped. Don't take on debt because it's what everyone does. Don't skip something because you think you can't afford it without doing the actual math first.

And for God's sake, don't let money decisions get made for you. Understand what's happening before you sign anything.

Your Network Is More Real Than Your Resume

The people you know matter. Not in a gross, transactional way. Just in the real way that other humans can open doors, give you advice, point you toward things, believe in you before you believe in yourself.

The best things that happened to me came from knowing people. The opportunities, the jobs, the partnerships, the introductions that changed things — they came from relationships. Not from networking events or LinkedIn. Just from actually knowing humans and staying in touch with them.

So be kind to people. Stay in touch with people who matter to you. Do good work and let people know you do good work. It's not about collecting contacts. It's just... people matter. And they remember people who matter to them.

The Stuff You're Worried About Probably Won't Happen the Way You Think

I spent energy worrying about things that never happened. I was anxious about things that turned out fine. I didn't worry enough about things that actually mattered.

You can't predict this stuff. You can prepare, you can pay attention, you can stay flexible. But the thing you're most afraid of probably won't happen. And the thing that actually challenges you will come from somewhere you didn't expect.

So don't let fear drive your decisions. Let curiosity drive them. Let your values drive them. Let "what do I actually want to learn?" drive them. Fear is just noise.

You Don't Have to Do What I Did or What Anyone Else Did

This is the one I really want you to hear, because nobody told me.

Your life doesn't have to follow my path. You don't have to go to a college like I did, or move where I moved, or build what I built, or want what I want. You get to figure out your own thing. And the fact that I did something doesn't mean it's a template for you.

There's a weird pressure when your parent is doing something that works. You think, "Well, that's the proven path." It's not. It's one path. There are dozens of others.

Be kind to yourself while you're figuring it out. Pay attention to what actually interests you. Build things. Talk to people. Read. Travel if you can. Make mistakes small enough that you can recover from them. Learn from people who are doing things you admire.

And don't do something just because I did it, or because it's what everyone does, or because you're scared of the alternative. Do it because it makes sense to you.

The Thing I'm Most Proud Of

You know what I'm actually proud of? Not my job or my education or what I've built. It's that I paid attention to what mattered. I'm present with you guys. I'm trying to be honest with you. I'm not pretending to have it all figured out.

That's the thing nobody tells you. You don't have to have it figured out. You just have to pay attention, keep learning, be kind, work hard at the things that matter to you, and stay honest about what you don't know.

That's it. That's the whole thing.

Go figure out what you actually want to do.

Dad

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In our house, we're fixing that. Malakai and Lucas are learning about assets, cash flow, and investing right now — at 16 and 14. We're working through real numbers, real budgets, real conversations about money. Not theory. Not a chapter in a textbook. The actual mechanics of building wealth.

When your kid understands money before they leave the house, you've given them something no school ever will.

2. Sales and Communication

Applying for a job? You're selling yourself. Asking someone on a date? Sales. Pitching a business idea, negotiating a raise, convincing your kid to eat vegetables — it's all persuasion and communication.

But school teaches you to sit quietly, raise your hand, and wait to be called on. That's not communication. That's compliance.

I learned to sell out of necessity. When I was building my real estate business, nobody was going to hand me clients. I had to learn how to talk to people, how to listen, how to present value, and how to handle rejection. Books like How to Win Friends and Influence People taught me more about human interaction than four years of college courses combined.

Now we're teaching our boys the same thing. We're building a podcast together, and that's where the real communication training happens. When you have to sit across from someone, ask the right questions, hold a real conversation, and put it out for the world to hear — that's a different level of growth. It's uncomfortable at first. It's supposed to be. That discomfort is where growth lives. And every time they do it, they get a little sharper, a little more confident, and a little more prepared for the real world.

3. Discipline and Health

School teaches you to follow a schedule someone else made. That's not discipline. That's obedience.

Real discipline is waking up early because you have a mission, not because a bell told you to. It's choosing to work out when you don't feel like it. It's putting down the phone and doing the hard thing when every part of your brain is telling you to take the easy route.

And health — physical and mental — is the foundation everything else is built on. You can have all the money in the world, but if your body breaks down, none of it matters.

This is personal for me. Building a business with my brother and sister taught me that mental and emotional health aren't luxuries — they're necessities. Stress, anxiety, burnout — these are the things that destroy people, and nobody in school ever teaches you how to manage them.

4. Problem-Solving and Adaptability

School gives you a problem with one right answer. Life gives you problems with no clear answer at all.

When the real estate market collapsed in 2008 and I lost everything, there was no textbook for that. No study guide. No professor to ask. I had to figure it out — adapt, learn new skills, find a new path forward. That ability to pivot and problem-solve under pressure is what eventually led to building a successful business from the ground up.

The world is changing faster than it ever has. AI is rewriting entire industries. The jobs that exist today might not exist in four years. In a world like that, the most valuable skill isn't what you know — it's how fast you can learn something new.

We're raising our kids to be problem-solvers, not test-takers. When something goes wrong with a project or a plan, we don't hand them the answer. We let them sit in the discomfort, work through it, and figure it out. That's how you build people who can handle anything life throws at them.

5. Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence

This might be the most underrated skill on the list. And school doesn't come close to teaching it.

Self-awareness is knowing what triggers you, what motivates you, what your strengths are and where your blind spots live. Emotional intelligence is the ability to read a room, manage your emotions under pressure, and connect with people on a human level.

These are the skills that determine the quality of your relationships, your leadership ability, and ultimately, your happiness. And you won't find them in any curriculum.

Malakai experienced this firsthand at Tony Robbins' Unleash the Power Within. Being in that room, surrounded by people doing deep personal work, he started to understand himself in a way that no classroom could have given him. He came back different — more aware, more intentional, more grounded.

As a family, we prioritize processing emotions, managing stress, and staying clear-headed. It's not something most 16-year-olds are doing. But most 16-year-olds aren't being prepared for the world that's actually coming.

The Real Curriculum

Here's what I believe: the five skills listed above — financial literacy, sales and communication, discipline and health, problem-solving, and self-awareness — are more valuable than any degree you can hang on a wall.

If you're a parent, you don't have to wait for the school system to catch up. You can start teaching these things at home, right now, today. A book. A conversation. A real-world challenge. That's all it takes to start.

If you're a young person reading this — pay attention to the skills that actually move the needle. Not the ones that earn you a grade, but the ones that earn you a life.